SantaBanta Adult and Non Veg Jokes

  • Pussy Tricks!

    Santa while travelling in a plane was continuously looking at a woman's legs and saw that she wasn't wearing her panties and beneath her tall waxed legs was a clean shaved pussy that was just unbelievable.

    Woman: I know what you are looking at.

    Santa apologetically: I am sorry Mam this would not happen again.

    Woman: That's perfectly OK. I know I'm not wearing my panties but one thing you don't know is that my pussy can do funny things.

    Santa: Like what?

    Woman: It can wink.

    Santa: Show me how?

    The woman lifted her skirt and made her clean shaved pussy wink at the Santa.

    Santa: Wow, it's amazing.

    Woman: It can blow a kiss as well....... and she made her nice pink lips blow a kiss at Santa.

    Santa got completely floored by this and was in awe of what he just saw.

    Woman who was completely hot and wet and wanted some action said to Santa: You can come next to my seat and put your fingers in my pussy.

    Santa: Teri behen di, don't tell me it can whistle too!
  • 15 Inch Ka Ghoda

    Santa Ke Pass 15 Inch Ka Bada Chota Aur Pyara Sa Ghoda Thha.

    Uske Khas Dost Banta Ne Usko Dekha Aur Puchha: Yaar Itna Pyara Ghoda Kaha Se Liya?

    Santa: Yaar Vo Udhar Jheel Ke Paas Ek Bade Pahunche Hue Baba Aaye Hai Aur Tapasya Kar Rahe Hai, Jo Maango De Dete Hai.

    Banta: Wah Yaar Ye To Bada Achcha Hai, Main Bhi Jaake Kuch Mang Leta Hun.

    Santa: Par Yaar Ek Baat Ka Dhayan Rakhna, Unko Zara Ooncha Sunta Hai, Aur Vo Sirf Ek Hi Murad Puri Karte Hai.

    Banta Ja Pahuncha Baba Ke Pas Aur Bola: Baba Ji Mujhe Heerey Se Bhari Ek Bori De Do.

    Baba Ne Apne Muh Mein Kuch Mantar Pade Aur Bori Aa Gayi, Aur Baba Fir Apni Tapasya Mein Leen Ho Gaye.

    Banta Ne Khushi Khushi Bori Uthayi Aur Ghar Vapis Aa Gaya, Aake Jaisi Hi Usne Bori Kholi To Usmein Kheerey Thhe.

    Vo Rota Hua Santa Ke Pass Gaya Aur Bola: Yaar Badi Bakchodi Ho Gayi. Sant: Kyun, Kya Hua? Banta: Yaar Maine Baba Se Ek Bori Heere Maneg Thhe Par Baba Ne Ek Bori Kheere De Diye.

    Santa Gusse Se Bola: Bhosdi Ke... Tujhe Bola Toh Tha Ki Baba Ooncha Sunte Hai. Aur Tujhe Kya Lagta Hai Ki Maine 15 Inch Ka Ghoda Manga Hoga.
  • Screwed Up!

    Santa visited a 5-Star hotel in Paris.

    As he sat there at the bar, enjoying his Black Label, a devastatingly hot French girl in a red dress came to him and said something in French, which he wasn't able to understand.

    Unable to get over her heavenly body mixed with the heady aroma of her alluring French perfume, Santa invited her to sit down next to him, took a napkin and drew a picture of a champagne glass.

    She nodded and he ordered a glass of champagne for her.

    After a while, he took another napkin, drew a picture of a plate with food on it and she nodded.

    They ordered dinner, after which, he took another napkin and drew a picture of a couple dancing.

    She nodded and they got up to dance.

    When they were back at their table, the young lady took a napkin and drew a picture of a Screw.

    Till date, he is scratching his bloody head to figure out, how on Earth did she know about his hardware store in Punjab.
  • No Ballroom

    Banta went to Paris and needed to get a pair of pants tailored urgently.

    The only one available was a ladies tailor. So having no choice, an order was placed. The next day Banta goes over and gets the pants - and tries them on.

    The conversation between him and the tailor is somewhat like this:

    Tailor: Eez a good?
    Banta: Yes !

    Tailor: Nice colour too...!
    Banta: Aye....

    Tailor: Any probleem?
    Banta: Well you know the Eiffel Tower ?
    Tailor: Oui Mons - who in Paris does not !
    Banta: You know the restaurant on top ?
    Tailor: But of course - who does not !
    Banta: And the ballroom below that ?
    Tailor: Mons - there is no ballroom below that!!
    Banta: Ah... that is the problem with these pants!!!
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