I’m just intelligent enough to know that I’m not really that intelligent.
The majority of the world is not at war, but is still significantly affected by the wars.
You can't have an odd number of spots on a mirror.
Chicken might be the only animal where Googling it often shows pictures of it cooked instead of alive.
Credit card offers are like marriage proposals...
Sounds sweet at first, but you’re stuck paying for years!
I've always been against kidnapping, but as I get older I'm becoming more and more supportive of adult napping.
What do you call a Chinese guy who hurt his leg?
Lim Ping
Wednesday is like the middle child of the week -- ignored and underappreciated!
The more you light your lighter the lighter your lighter gets until it's too light to light your lighter.
The peak of happiness is tears, the peak of sadness is laughter.