Mature Jokes

One day, a man came home from work and greeted his wife. Upon seeing him, she asked for $20 to buy meat to fix for dinner that night. He leads her to a mirror, holds up the $20 bill and says to her...

A traveling salesman is in a small town in the Midwest, when his trip is suddenly prolonged for an extra month. He was already getting bored there and over the course of the extra month...

Bill gets a call from his buddy Doug one day, and Doug is on the phone crying. Bill asks, "Doug, what`s wrong? You sound really upset."
"Well," replies Doug, "my wife`s been cheating...

The girl leaned against the building, running her fingers through her bleached hair and smiling more than casually at the male passers-by. She wore a plaid skirt and a low-cut V-neck sweater...

A cub reporter for a small town newspaper was sent out on his first assignment one day. He submitted the following report to his editor. "Mrs. Smith was injured in a one-car accident today. She is recovering...

Twin sisters were just turning one hundred years old in St. Luke`s Nursing Home so, to scoop the other rags of the area, the editor of the Cambridge rag, "The Cambridge Distorter," asked her head photographer...

A man was on trial for selling drugs, and a neighbor was called as a witness. The defense attorney asked, "Did you ever get any cocaine or other drugs from the defendant?"
"No sir...

Two old ladies are walking through a museum and got separated. When they ran into each other later the first old lady said to the second, "My God! Did you see that statue of the naked man back there...

A newlywed husband had to go on a business trip, and hated to leave his gorgeous, sexy very blonde wife alone. The night before he left, he brought home a vibrator and gave it to her...

Sally was seen going into the woods with a small package and a large bird cage. She was gone several days but finally she returned. Her friend, Liz, had never seen Sally looking so sad...